i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
