i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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