I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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