I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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