Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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