Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
