Heybabeimwearingurpanties
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
