I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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