Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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