Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
