i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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