Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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