I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
