the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
