Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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