cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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