I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ass is underappreciated
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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