The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
