College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
