Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
