you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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