I just made out with a guy for $7.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
