yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
