My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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