At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize