You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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