You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
