I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
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