sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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