The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
