He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
