Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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