we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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