please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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