***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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