I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Randomize
