Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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