oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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