I wish I could punch you in the face.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
