remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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