i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
