i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
