We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm passing your future prison.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
