tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
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She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
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I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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