My hand turned me down
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
