This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
