is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
