Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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