Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
