1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize