Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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