Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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