Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
