He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
