just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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