is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? ππ
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience π€·π»ββοΈ
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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