White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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